guess which one is my PC wallpaper now?

MYLENE OR BIANCA? The obvious guess is of course, Bianca King. She's younger, fresher, the "it" girl of the moment, arguably the sexier of the two in terms of vital statistics. One can go as far as saying Miss King is prettier and of higher "breeding" than Miss Dizon. The only thing going for Mylene is she's bustier than Bianca, but not all guys are breast-men.

I would have chosen Bianca King as my PC wallpaper if i have dreams of fucking Bianca or even having her as my girlfriend. But poor me, even in my wildest dream, i couldn't conceive of a way to fulfill any of the two choices. It would have been easier finding aliens watching a Kris Aquino gameshow in my kitchen closet than fulfilling those dreams, if its a deal or no deal (swingggg).

So who do i have? Mylene Dizon on my PC wallpaper. "Why?" Why not? Based on the FHM covers of the two, it is obvious Miss Dizon has the sexier shot. She has all the components men fantasize about. Lingerie vs. Bikini? Lingerie is sexier because it still leave something for the imagination. A bikini has the "boinggg" factor (the instant hard-on) because almost all that you wanted to see is there, right there. But after a prolonged presence on a PC monitor, that factor quickly vanishes. Whereas Miss Dizon's outfit will make one look at her even longer, wondering what is beneath all those soft fabric. And her pink undies, which she teasingly showed by lifting her lingerie, is screaming "Look at me boys! Over here! Lookie!" Now compare that to Bianca's ho-humm bikini bottom.

Then take a closer look at Mylene. Yup. Closer... closer... see 'em? Are those what we think they are? Yes, my 20-20 visioned boy, them are her nipples. Say hi. "But sir, why are they protruding like that?" You see my young padawan learner, when girls get excited and horny, their nipples ...err--- Do we even have to bother looking at Miss King's tops?

Now here are the added bonuses. Look at Mylene's lips, she's like saying "ooops, i've been a bad angel. Please spank me..." and yeah, who would you rather choose, a girl in bikini on a beach or an angel in lingerie in heaven waiting for you to spank her?

I rest my case.

will true love find its way?

just some random things         

I WAS reading Howie Severino's Sidetrip blog when i saw this post which really blew me away. I really can't watch any football game, the game the world plays, because to me it's the most boring game to watch on TV. Golf is a better alternative. When i was in Macau, the World Cup finals was on TV and i thought i should watch it but 20 minutes into the game, i was sleeping beside my girl. And as what sir butch dalisay said, "Sorry, Zinedine: I’d sooner watch paint dry than endure a soccer match and the spectacle of overpaid boys writhing on the ground pretending to have been disemboweled" (quoted without permission). But it really made me proud when i found out thru Howie's (yeah, we're on a first-name basis hehe) blog that one of the greatest football player in the world has Filipino blood, Paulino Alcantara. GOAAALLLLL!!!!!

Wala lang, i was just fascinated with the picture above.

I was wondering, when was the last time you cried real hard that you were calling your mother?

Bob Ong asks, in his book, what would happen if you put the TV monitor on top of the well's opening, magpapabalik-balik lang ba si Sadako sa balon at sa TV? Oo nga naman.

And Sadako (the japanese version) is my hands down choice as one of the scariest character on film. My other vote goes to Piling in Chiquito's Mang Kepweng movies. Now, that's one hell of a scary nabuhay na patay. Eh, ikaw ba naman ang ilibing na cha-cha ang tugtog sa libing mo. Ginabi na ang libing kasi cha-cha din ang lakad ng mga tao. Pakong-bakya pa ang ginamit sa ataul. Bata pa ako nun at nakatakip ang kamay sa mata habang nanunuod.

mr. x's top 10 (2)               
-repost from confessions from a cheap motel (myspace)-         

ASIDE FROM my stories on the tabloid, I also do a column for them (lets call it Mr. X) wherein readers send me text messages asking questions mostly about sex. Just think of it as a sleazy Dr. Margie Holmes, minus the PhD as Im only armed with my own meandering experience and some old-fashioned common sense in trying to enlighten, in my own little way, the Pinoy psyche about anything under the sun that is connected, of course, with sex.
     I would like to share with you now some of the funniest text messages I receive everyday. Here are this week's top 10 :

10) Hilo puyde ba maka cex ako c Ronad? (09212895783)

Aba malay ko kung ikaw nga si Ronad.

9) H? X, may itatanong lang ako, kung bkit gaya, ng gf ko, mtagal na kmi mag kaleing,isa araw gus2 ko mkpgsex gf ko, omayaw sya bkit po yan (09202630451)

Hah?! Ano raw?

8) Mr. X, may gusto me ikonsulta syo. 1 akong gay. Bkit ho masakit kpag inuuring me sa behind ko? (09162935689)

nyahahaha ala ey ano ga yung inuuring?

7) Mr. X, gud am po s u. itatanong ko lng sna kung pocbleng naiimagine pa ng misis ko ang unang la2keng kumantot s knya, kpag kmiy ngka2n2tan --Boy Himod. (09214014549)

Sa pangalan mo pa lang pre, sigurado na akong di na yun naiisip ng misis mo at solb na solb na siya sa yo.

6) Mr. X pwede b kng magpakantot syo, dnt wory mgaling ako. Un lng kc problema k- (09198447485)

yun lang problema mo? huuuuuu...... malas naman. Sana di pa nauuso ang AIDS.

5) Magandang umaga Mr. X. Itatanong ko lang sana kung pareho din ba ang pakiramdam sa loob ng pwet ng bakla at sa loob ng puke ng babae? Di pa kasi ako nakakatikim ng babae. --Wetpaks Killer ng Baclaran (09064396720)

............ (wala akong masabi)

4) Hello po! Mr. X 2mira po ako ng bakla at nagkar0on nlang po ako na parng nana,n lumlbas sa burat q,ano po bng ga2wn ko. (09106823423)

ay wala lang yan tol. Hanapin mo lang ulit yung bading at ipasipsip mo lang yung lumalabas sa etits mo nyahahaha

3) Mr. X itatanong ko lang kung di nakasama sa babae ang bulitas pag lagi ang kantot (09214723029)

wag lang bulitas galing sa gulong ng dump truck :/

2) Mr. X 220 ba ang sinasabi ng ermat kot ng tita ko na kpag mlapad dw ang noo ng 1 ba2e ay mlake rn dw ang poke ni2. sbagay gnun dn kc ang noo ng tita ko. (09193711532)

hmmmmnnn... ***kinakapa ang noo ng ka-officemate***

1) Tegas aken tete saan (09205747887)

kenoha ng badeng, denala sa kwarto

note : Im writing the text messages here as I receive them and the texters cell number. Why the cell number too? By texting the tabloid, it is understood that Im going to print their cell numbers unless they tell me that they stay anonymous.

drama in real life         

TODAY, DAD disowns my eldest sister living in the States. "itinakwil" is a more dramatic term. why? after reading this, one might arrive at the conclusion that they are arguing about money. believe me, money is not the root cause here. ignore the "money" issue and see what's left. love. here's their story.

ate emailed this to dad :

daddy,
     you know we love you and respect you...we might not see eye to eye at times, or hindi tayo nagkakasundo but you're still our father...you don't have to explain things to us kasi malalaman din naman namin yung totoo eh...ako nga na nasa amerika na nalalaman ko pa yung mga nangyayari sayo, minsan ako pa nauunang maka alam kesa sa mga kapatid ko...
     don't take this the wrong way but wag mong sabihin sa amin na walang kapalit mommy kasi buhay pa mommy may mga babae ka na and may anak ka pa nga sa iba...we don't care kung may gf ka kasi in a way mabuti yon para may nag aalaga sayo, yo have company...make sure nga lang na talagang inaalagaan ka...kasi if anything happens sayo, kami pa rin naman ang mag aalala and mag aalaga sayo eh...
     what do i worry about? not the fact na wala na wala na sa atin yung bahay sa pasig (saan titira mga kapatid ko eventually?), not the fact na sira-sira na yung bahay sa province, not the fact na ang mga kapatid ko eh nagsusumikap na guminhawa na hindi umaasa sayo or sa akin, at kung anu-ano pa. hindi ko inaalala lahat yun.
     what i worry about is the same thing mommy was worried about. ikaw. i worry about you. i worry about your gambling. i worry about your cases, utang. i worry about you not taking care of your health. i worry about you not taking care of your family, our future. have you thought about kung saan dadamputin sila if in case mawala ang tita and kunin yung apartment sa pasig? have you thought about the money we could have had and save if hindi ka sugarol? have you thought about kung anong mangyayari sayo if magkasakit ka? have you thought about what kind of legacy you will leave? what would nanay sopeng and tatay pando say if they were alive today and nakikitang ganito tayo, ikaw?
     don't get mad, i'm still thankful coz you're our father. hindi din naman namin ikaw ipagpapalit. but we hope things be better. ngayon pa na wala na mommy. she was the only one who made it all

dad replied with :

     If ever I made a wrong decision in my life in the past. I'm have corrected it kaya nga naka-focus ako sa trabaho ko ngayon. Maliit nga lang ang suweldo at may kaunting overriding commission but enough to sustain my needs and provide basic needs to your brothers and sister pag may kumita ng kaunti. Hindi ko nakakalimutan ang obligasyon ko sa mga kapatid mo. Naka plano lahat ang pagpupuno ko sa kanila sa mga pagkukulang ko sa kanila. But, hindi naman ako siguro pinaka masama ama na nakilala mo. Kahit kaunti ciguro i'm a better father that some of the father here in our province. Although not perfect na inaasahan mo.
     Can you not forgive me for my past mistake? Can you not remember na kahit 1% nakatulong din naman ako sa pagpapalaki sa iyo? I think you have judged me already as a BAD Father and mis judge and listen to all the comments that you hear with out asking my side. What can i do if that is your decision? At least I dont have to worry about your future kasi nasa stable and America ka na.
     For your information whether you believe it or not, this are my plan which I already discuss with your brothers and sister:
     a. I have a new foreign Denmark investor which will entrust me funds to develop and construct and sell houses. I will bring along your brothers to this business para matuto sila ng negosyo ito and umasenso ang buhay nila.
     b. Malaki kita dito double the investment. Enough to build a new house for your brother and sister. Ayoko din tumira sa Pasig kasi maingay nga duon
     c. Ang bahay sa province, hindi naman total wreck katulad ng impression mo. Much better naman sa iba bahay dun. Needs a little repair and improvements lang which will come later. Better use the little,savings to the business that i will personally handle. 
      Ayoko ng magpaliwanag pa sa iyo. Pakiusap ko lang huwag mo ng sagutin ito. I will change my e-mail. Ayoko ng makipag- e-mail sa yo baka makapag salita pa ako na pagsisishan ko sa huli.
     By the way, magkano ba ang naitulong mo sa mommy mo ng nasa karamdaman siya. Natatandaan ko pa na minsan nagsabi ako sa yo ng tulong para sa kanya you turn it down. Thats why i ask Charles and my office. Hanggang nailibing siya may naitulong ka ba? Tanungin mo na lang ang mga kapatid mo kung magkano nagastos ko para bigyan siya ng decent burial. Akala mo ba yon naibigay mo maliliit na tulong sa mga kapatid is enough for you to say THINGS LIKE THAT TO ME.
     Huwag mo ng sagutin ang reply na ito. I dont need it and kung may anak ako katulad mo dito. I DONT NEED IT ALSO. GOODBYE AND GOOD RIDANCE

ate's reply :

daddy,
     mabasa mo man ito or hindi i have to write it down...
     have i ever said masama kang ama? diba sabi ko pa na thankful pa din ako at ikaw daddy namin? i know you're not perfect, sino ba? i don't and never judged you...tanungin mo nga sila kung sinong nagtatanggol sayo sa kanila at sa mga kamag anak natin? it shows how much you don't know me daddy. hindi ako ang taong nakikinig sa iba. i make my own desicions by what i know and not by what others say. if tanungin ba kita naman sasagutin mo ako ng tapat? have you ever given us a straight answer?
     magkano ang naicontribute ko nung may sakit ang mommy? sinusumbatan mo ako? kelan ako tumanggi? hindi ba buong sweldo ko binibigay ko sa kanya nung may sakit sya? ako pa nakiusap kila kuya charles and sa tita hedie? libing ng mommy. tanungin mo nga sa kanila kung magkano pinadala ko. kaya nga tiniis kong hindi umuwi para may maipadala dyan. tapos ako tatanungin mo kung anong tinulong ko? how dare you. para sa mommy pa. may narinig ka ba sa akin na reklamo? wala. nagrereklamo ba ako? hindi.
     anong tulong ang binigay ko sa mga kapatid ko? i know it's not money dahil hindi sila nahingi sa akin. alam ko emotional support ang binibigay ko. support na hindi mo binibigay sa kanila.
galit ka sa akin kasi ngayon lang merong nagsalita sayo tungkol sa ganitong bagay. siguro panahon na. baka kung inilabas lahat ng mommy ang sama ng loob nya sa yo baka buhay pa kasi hindi sya stress.
     anong sabi mo sa akin? "if meron kang anak na katulad ko di bale na lang and good ridance"? tinakwil mo ako? nakakatawa. ikaw pa may ganang magtakwil.
     ok lang na galit ka. sana sa galit mo maipakita mo sa akin na mali ako. ipakita mo sa mga kapatid ko na you'll be there for them. ipakita mo sa mommy na she doesnt have anything to worry about. ipakita mong you deserve our respect and love.
     sayang daddy. ako pa naman ang unang unang nagtatanggol sayo. tinakwil mo pa ako. anong sasabihin ko kay matt about his lolo? sorry matt, tinakwil tayo ng lolo mo. sayang talaga. sinayang mo love ko sayo.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

i know i shoudn't wash our dirty linen in public. but hey, these are stuff TV writers can only dream of writing.

what happened next? abangan ang susunod na kabanata...

mr. x's top 10

aside from my stories on the tabloid, I also do a column for them (let’s call it “Mr. X”) wherein readers send me text messages asking questions mostly about sex. Just think of it as a sleazy Dr. Margie Holmes, minus the PhD as I’m only armed with my own meandering experience and some old-fashioned common sense in trying to enlighten, in my own little way, the Pinoy psyche about anything under the sun that is connected, of course, with sex.

I would like to share with you now some of the funniest text messages I receive everyday. Here are this week’s top 10 :

10) Mr. X, tanong ko lang kung bakit gustong-gusto ako ng may mga asawa lalo na at nasa abroad ang asawa. Kakaiba daw ako sa kama. (09208209386)

Uhhhh, bakit sinagot mo ang sarili mong tanong? Naka-drugs ka ba?

9) Mr. X, good pm. Seksi po ako at mahilig sa sex. (09104104144)

WOW! O tapos?

8) Don’t get mad pero kayo ang gusto ko. iba na na po ang prangka. I’m Rodel. Bi. (09107858837)

Bay, “Bi” ka? Iba na nga ang prangka. Bye.

7) Mr. X, iyot na iyot na ako. may kakelala ka bang tseks na pwiding makepagosap sa Anito Pasay? Sagot ko na ang taxi, sya na sa kwarto.

bay, di na uubra yang style mo. nasubukan ko na yan, promise

6) Sino pwede pumindot sa akin? (09153055422)

Si Ding-dong… Ding-dong…

5) Masama po bang araw araw na mag-jakol? Sa tuwing magsasalsal po ako, minsan ay nasusugatan po ang titi ko at di ko po mapigilang wag magsalsal kahit na may sugat ito. Sa tuwing nakahiga ako sa kama, lagi akong nag-iimagine ng puke. Di pa kasi ako nakakakantot ng puke. (09153476768)

Matindi ka ‘pre. Di ko na itatanong kung anong natira mo aside from… ewww…

4) Mr. X, totoo bang nakakakalbo daw ang sobrang pagsasalsal? Confidential my number please. (0917998-XXXX)

Hindi siya nakakakalbo maliban na lang kung hinihila mo din ng sobra ang buhok mo habang nagsasalsal ka.

3) Mr. X, ako po si Trisha, 16. Tanong ko lang po kung willing ba kayong makipagsex sa 16? Parang ang galing nyo po kasi at marami kayong matuturo sa akin. (09164685870)

Teka, magtatanong lang ako kung may death penalty pa…

2) Mr. X, pwede bang sa yo na lang ako makipag sex instead sa boyfriend ko? Ang cute mo kasi, mukhang malibog. (09155137851)

errr--- compliment ba iyan?

1) Mr. X, ano po bang gamot sa tulo? (09187530907)

Tubero?

note : I’m writing the text messages here as I receive them and the texter’s cell number. Why the cell number too? By texting the tabloid, it is understood that I’m going to print their cell numbers unless they tell me that they stay anonymous.

love in thy pocket     

"alam mo Francis, di ko na kaya. Di ko na kayang mag-stay with all your lies. Better siguro if we part ways na..."

Paulit-ulit sa aking isipan ang mga katagang iyon ni Michiyo kanina habang umiiyak siya. Pinuntahan ko siya dito sa kanyang condo, umaasang ayos na ulit sa amin ang lahat. Oo, inaamin ko, kasalanan ko kung bakit nawala ang tiwala nya sa akin. May mga bagay akong di pinagtapat sa kanya ngunit nagawa ko yun dahil natatakot akong mawala siya sa akin. Hindi ko inaasahan na mas makakasama pa pala ang baluktot kong paniniwalang iyon. Ngayon tuloy, hindi ko na maibalik ang dating pagtitiwala nya. Hindi ko na maibalik ang dating pag-ibig nya sa akin.

Nasa kwarto nya si Michiyo. Naka-lock ang pinto, ayaw akong papasukin, ayaw kausapin. Manunuod sana kami ng mga DVD movies na aking dala ngunit may nasabi ako na nakadagdag sa pagdududa nya sa aking pagkatao, sa aking pag-ibig sa kanya. At naramdaman ko kung gaano siya nasaktan. Yayakapin ko pa sana siya kanina ngunit tinabig nya lang ang aking mga kamay sabay pasok sa kwarto.

Halos dalawang oras ata akong nakaupo sa labas ng balcony ng kanyang flat, 12 floors ang taas mula sa kalye sa baba na mangilan-ngilan na lang ang mga sasakyang dumadaan. Lampas hating-gabi na kasi. Ang daming mga bagay ang umiikot sa loob ng aking isip, kung paano ako kung wala si Michiyo, kung paano ko siya liligawang muli, kung tuluyan ko na bang tatanggapin ang nais niyang hiwalay. Naputol lang ang aking pagmumuni-muni ng may maramdaman akong kumapit sa aking braso.

"Tatalon ka ba?" biro ni Michiyo, pilit na ngumingiti sa sariling biro.

"HIndi ah, masakit kaya yun" sagot ko, itinatago ang nangingilid na mga luha sa aking mata. Nakita kong pilit din niyang pinipigilan ang kanyang mga luha.

Yumakap sa akin si Michiyo. "Be, i'm sorry but i really cant go on. Please understand na mas mabuti pang maghiwalay na tayo. We can be friends... kung posible pa yun..." sabi nya habang umiiyak.

Malalim ang aking mga paghinga, pilit na tinitibayan ang loob. Boys dont cry, di ba?

"S-sige... uhmm..." inaalis ko ang tilang nakabara sa aking lalamunan, "kung yun ang... kung yan ang gusto mo."

"S-salamat..." niyakap nya akong muli, di na pinigil ang mga luha. Matagal ang yakap, dama kong iyon na ang huli.

Mayamaya ay bumitaw sya sa pagkakayakap sa akin. Hudyat yun na kailangan ko ng lisanin ang kanyang flat. Tiningnan ko siya sa inaasahan kong huling pagkakataon atsaka tumalikod papunta sa pinto. Nang malapit na ako sa pinto, may kinuha ako sa bulsa ng suot kong pantalon. Ibibigay ko sana sa kanya ito kaninang nagsimba kami ngunit nawalan ako ng pagkakataon at naisip kong may mas maganda pang pagkakataon para maibigay iyon.

"Be..." sabi ko, di malaman kung paano itutuloy ang sasabihin. "Alam mong... alam mong ikaw lang ang kaya kong mahalin ng ganito, ikaw lang ang mahal ko. Kahit pa man sabihin mong mas mabuti pang mag-part ways na lang tayo, i want u to have this..."

Kinuha ko ang isa niyang kamay at inilagay sa kanyang palad ang singsing na matagal ko ng gustong ibigay sa kanya.

"Sa yo na lang ito, be, keep this. Tutal, wala na akong ibang babaeng pagbibigyan nito... and para sa iyo naman talaga ito eh. K-kung dumating man ang panahon na ma-realize mo, tsaka mo na lang sagutin ang tanong kong will you marry me?"

booby shake

ahead of me, a petite cutie girl bumped into a male acquaintance. They exchanged small talks, all smiles. The girl playfully slap the guy’s arms while the guy pinch the girl’s cheeks, sa gigil probably, as the girl is really nakakagigil. This gesture annoys the girl a bit but they continue to talk as I pass them by.

I then unconsciously glanced at the girl’s boobies which are about the right size but a bit large for her stature. Then a thought balloon : what’s with breasts ba? why is it okay to pinch someone’s cheeks yet it’s not right to hold a friend’s bumpers? Hell, you cant even stare at a girl’s breasts.

What’s wrong with this picture?

Girl : Hoy, kamusta ka na? Tagal kitang di nakita.

Guy : Uy! Ikaw pala, di kita agad nakilala. Ang ganda mo na lalo ngayon ah.

Girl : Hehehe di naman (playfully slaps the guy’s arms)

Guy : Lumaki rin ata ang boobs mo (holds the girl’s breasts as if measuring them with his hands)

Girl : Oo nga e (the girl smiles) ewan ko ba kung bakit. Pero ganun pa rin naman ang size ng nipples ko.

Guy : Talaga? Patingin nga? (girl lifts up her blouse and bra cup) Oo nga no? ganun pa rin (pinching it with two of his fingers)

Girl : Oy, sige na, una na ako. Male-late na kasi ako (girl starts to  walk away)

Guy : Teka… Nagmamadali ka? Sayang, tingnan ko pa naman sana kung tumaba din ang pussy mo.

Girl : (looks back, smiling) next time ko na lang papakita sa yo. Ingat.

Who was it that decreed that it’s not right to hold a girl’s breasts? What’s the difference between a breast and a cheek or an arm? I say madudumi lang ang isip nyo. You can hold hands in public but you cant touch each other’s private parts? Who was it that first called them private parts anyway? It’s not even supposed to be private as God created Adam and Eve naked.

So you girls wont feel you’re on the shorter end of the stick, you too can do the same. You can shake our dicks as if you’re shaking our hands. We wont mind, at all. Just don’t shake it vigorously nor for a long time, unless you want to get your hands spoiled hehehe

internet chat : web cam show

when I lifted up a fist-sized stone and discovered the internet beneath it one fine day, I became an addict. i surfed the big waves of the w.w.w., that’s the world wide web for the newbie (hah! I learned that the other day). I discovered easy porn unlike in my younger days when I have to lift up my dad’s bed mattress or climb up the cabinet to look for porn featuring women with bushy pussies. I was (take note, “was”) addicted also to online chatting thru Yahoo Messenger. And this is why the internet was created.

Show! Show! Show!

It was a culture shock of sorts when I first watched a live solo show performance. I entered a chat room and got curious on who was this girl that guys on the room were begging for permission to view the web cam. Mob mentality, naki-view na rin ako. I got access but was disappointed to see a plump middle-aged lady in house clothes. She looks like your family’s pa-kikay na Tita na nagmumurang-kamyas. Hell, she IS someone’s Tita! . Everybody was telling her how pretty and sexy she looks. And I was like, what the fuck are you guys talking about! I was about to click exit when the lady began rubbing her bilbils up to her add-P10-for-a-go-large breasts.

ME : oh, okay… this is interesting…

EVERYONE : Take it off! Hubarin na yan! Press “1” if you wanna see a show.

ME : 1

ME : 1

ME : 11111111111111111111

The Tita then strip-teased to the horny dogs’ woof-woof delight which culminated in she finger-fucking her bushy pussy. She even did a close up of her very wet finger. I bet lots of tyanaks were born that day (they say everytime a guy masturbates, a tyanak is born. Ang dami ko na palang anak... "Daddy! Daddy!"). After my virgin eyes" baptismal (nabinyagan hehe), my taste for a show got better. It was young horny exhibitionist chikababes only, and there were lots of them, i found out later.  Some will do it for a fee (cellphone load as low as P10) but guys are smart.

May libre naman, bakit ka pa magbabayad?

Alas! gays are smarter. I was a victim of these a number of times. I was expecting to see a horny pretty chick but when the web cam went on, I saw something that i myself has, a dick! It was a guy/gay masturbating on a web cam. I quickly quadruple-click the exit button, faster than you can say "ewwwww..."

Que horror! Que barbaridad!